Well, let's see what we have on the plate for this weekend... Before I go there I have a question that is really bothering me. Why is it players that "graduated" from the University Of Miami, when introducing themselves during games, say they are from "The U"? What is that all about? Are they too stupid to remember where they went to school? Technically could not about anyone that ever went to college say they went to "The U"? Think about that. Any school, such as USC, is the University of Southern California. Why don't they say they went to "The U"? Or are they just proud they got into college, and are saying I went to University? Isn't there only one true "U"? Yep. That would be Utah University. I never hear them say that, and they are the only one with the right to do so. Just baffles me. Sorry about that. Let's get into some football...
Kansas vs. Iowa State
All the bobble heads on television continue to tell the nation that Kansas University is not for real, we have played nobody, this is a fluke, and that Iowa State should not be a 27 point underdog here because they are better than Kansas, who once again, has played nobody. This is a "trap" game. They are also led by The Ultimate Leader, Gen Chizik. If you want some seriously humorous reading, and self smoke blowing, check out the Iowa State website and read his bio. This guy is not just full of himself, he sets a new record for self praise. We don't really have a chance against them now that I have read about him. Just so you know, this is him.
(The best part about this guy is he puts his PHONE NUMBER on his bio page. No kidding. 515-294-6721 if you don't believe me. Classic)
Pretty confident look on his face, don't you think? I guess he has never seen Mark MANgino getting out of the shower. Then that smirk would disappear rather quickly, as he would know then and there what a REAL man looks like. Look, I am not saying we should take Iowa State lightly. They have played some inspired football since getting their ass handed to them by Kent State and Northern Iowa. Okay, so they might not have won much, but they have played better. The most points they have scored all year was 35 against Toledo. I am not saying that is not impressive, but gentlemen, it is going to take a hell of a lot more points than that to beat Kansas. On paper this should not even really be a game, but hey, that is why they play instead of letting me just decide who wins. I guess we should do a battle of the coaches.
Gene Chizik actually did play some football. He was a linebacker at Florida for one year. I guess he could not quite hack it, but hey, he tried. On the other hand Mark MANgino invented football so he really did not have to play. I can't find any personal information on Gene, such as height and weight, but he seriously does not look like he can hang with Mark MANgino. This is where we bring in the back up to do the dirty work. Ladies and Gentlemen, this weeks Title Match is between Iowa State Defensive Coordinator Robert McFarland, and Mark MANgino.
VS
That's right! We have a Mark MANgino follower and wannabe on the Iowa State staff! Now THIS COULD BE FUN! I propose a Canola Oil cage match at half time. Loser gives the other team 20 points. I say we bring in Vince McMahon to be the referee for this one with Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross calling the shots. We could even do a lead-in with Corso and Herbstreit on College Game Day. Now this would set some ratings records! I am just banging my head against my desk right now trying to find any way possible to make this work. It has to work. I demand it!
Unlike all the people on television, I don't think Kansas is looking past Iowa State. As a matter of fact I believe Kansas is even MORE fired up after watching Oregon lose last night. They now know that no matter what happens their fate is 100% in their own hands instead of a bunch of computers and coaches that don't even watch games of other teams they are not going to play. I would expect to see an huge amount of Jake Sharp and Brandon McAnderson. I would expect to see Aqib Talib FLYING around the field. I would expect to see another "why are I not even up for Heisman consideration" performance from Todd Reesing. And I would expect to see Mark "why am I not even considered for Coach of The Year" MANgino not take his foot off the throttle all game. National Television, a crazy Kansas crowd in Lawrence, and their fate in their hands....
Kansas 63 Iowa State 21
In other football news, that "team" in Kansas City happens to play on Sunday. Not that anyone really cares because the real game in Saturday afternoon. Anyway...
Kansas City Griefs AT Indianapolis Colts
I guess the boys in Vegas have not been watching the Griefs play this year. Either that or they are feeling really generous going into Thanksgiving week. If gambling were legal anywhere but Vegas you could feel pretty comfortable knowing there is NO WAY IN HELL the Griefs should only be getting 15 points from the Colts. Hell, even if Peyton Manning only plays the first half because he has to go film another commercial I would still take the Colts giving 15. The Griefs defense may be better than it has been in years past, but not against The Face, Peyton. He will pick the Griefs apart like they are not even there. Couple that fact with us having LESS THAN ZERO offense and this looks like a 56 to 3 disaster just waiting to happen. Look at all the things that go against us here...
Brodie Croyle starting at quarterback. That makes me laugh out loud just writing that.
Herm Edwards is our coach.
Carl Peterson is our General Manager.
Priest Holmes is our starting running back.
The Colts are good.
The Chiefs Suck.
The Chiefs Suck
The Chiefs Suck
I have been telling you all year, begging you practically, not to get caught up in this team because all they will do is tear your heart out and stomp on it. Maybe, just maybe, now you are starting to listen to me. I honestly believe we have won the last game we are going to win this year. We have NOTHING going for us, and have just let the Packers and Broncos stomp a mud hole in us the last two weeks. This will be three in a row as we spiral into oblivion, as Mike Tyson would say.
Colts 56 Chiefs 3
As I sign out for the day, please bow your head and thank the maker for bringing us this man...
Mody
